How do you choose a puppy?

My mom would tell you that your puppy will pick you. That you should just sit down and see which one wanders over to you, or which one curls up for a nap in your lap. Or say the name you want to give your dog and see which puppy responds. She’d also tell you that a puppy that lets you flip him over and hold him in your arms on his back is a great dog. And that, if your puppy is a golden retriever, he will grow up to be the same color as his ears. She would tell you to talk excitedly, whisper quietly, shout happily or speak sadly and see which pup tumbles over to hear what you have to say.

I was decidedly less zen about the choice.

cute puppy

Pick me!!

I would tell you to determine the type of dog you want. Active? Calm? Assertive? Submissive? And then use the Volhard test to narrow down your selection BEFORE employing my mom’s soul-mate/puppy-fate instructions. The Monks of New Skete (these awesome monks who have written a few great dog training advice books) use this test to place the german shepherds they breed. You basically put a 7 week old puppy through a series of activities, calling him, opening an umbrella near him, dragging a dishcloth around him, etc and rank his reaction on a scale from one to six. His scores will define the personality you can expect from him when’s he grown up. (You can also use a truncated version of this test to see the personality of older dogs if you are adopting!)

monks of new skete puppies

The Monks of New Skete

For me, determining the dog I wanted was easy. I wanted a big guy. A lazy guy. Easily trainable, non-aggressive, block headed, dopey and lovey. Mostly I just wanted a good dog. Honestly, I wanted Suds reincarnate. If you knew him, you would too.

It seemed to me that a puppy who consistently slept a lot, more than his litter-mates, and scored a lot of fours on the Volhard test would be the one for me. I say “consistently” slept a lot because I know that sometimes you’ll see a bounce-around-the-room puppy right when she’s winding down. Or calm puppy who just got up from a nap and is ready for 15 solid minutes of frolicking. It is definitely important to visit the litter a lot, and be sure each pup has on a different colored collar to make sure you know which one is which. They DO have VERY telling personalities at that age!

how do know what kind of dog your puppy will be

This puppy, Gordon, with the black color, was an observant little man. And still is.

I couldn’t visit the litter until I took my puppy home, they were in New Jersey I was halfway across the country, so I enlisted a crew to investigate the litter for me.

My mom, my dad, my mom’s friend Gail, her daughter Emily, my aunt, my cousins, my cousins’ friends, etc. (I had a pretty huge puppy picking brigade) visited the litter at least once a week for me. We’d video chat while they played with the puppies.

picking a puppy

Face-timing with the puppies

Around week 7 they did the Volhard test for me. They weren’t really steadfast believers like me, and hadn’t done all the reading I had, so they weren’t 100% on the ball. For instance, I don’t think anyone brought an umbrella to Volhard Testing day. But both of the big males in the litter scored well, so, in the end it was just up to my mom’s puppy choosing techniques. And I just had to choose, which one would be the one we would love for the next decade or so?

The hardest part about choosing one puppy is that, in choosing one, you reject all the rest. That’s how it feels. And, really, that’s how it is. All those watery little eyes look up at you and you can’t help but love each and every one of them. It makes it almost impossible, but you just have to accept that fact and make the choice. You are allowed to love them all. But only one can go home with you. (Ok maybe two…)

how to choose just one puppy

Here are the three boys with our puppy picking brigade! (We picked the one looking away)

And there’s always that question in the back of your mind, what if that other puppy would be a better dog? But don’t worry, I have the answer: there’s no such thing as a better dog. There is only your dog, and everyone else’s. Once your puppy is yours he’s yours, and just that makes him the best dog for you. So you just have to make the choice, and once you know he’s yours it gets a whole lot easier. That’s a big fat lie. It gets really really hard. But at least choosing will be over and you can get down to training and 3AM potty breaks.

Ultimately Bender just ended up being the one my aunt and Gail fell in love with on choosing day. I guess your heart just kind of tugs you slightly more in one direction than the other. He was the calmest, snuggly-est one. And once they felt that tug they just went with it. The next day my parents visited and felt it too.

adorable dopey puppy

Dopey puppy? Yes.

Is he big? Yes. Lazy? Somewhat. Easily trainable? When you have treats. Non-aggressive? For the most part. Block headed? Yes. Dopey? Yes. Lovey? When he wants to be. Is he Suds reincarnate? Not yet. Is he a good dog? Of course!

He’s not exactly what I was expecting. He’s a lot harder to live with than I thought he’d be. But he’s still a puppy, and puppies are energetic and stubborn. More importantly, he is teaching me to be selfless, patient, fiercely loyal, and more cognizant of the world around me and around him. He’s making me redefine my parameters for unconditional love. Would a different puppy have been a different experience? Of course, but Bender is my dog. And he is the best dog there is.

Ok buddy, you're mine. And we're in this for the long haul.

Ok buddy, you’re mine. And we’re in this for the long haul.

So anyway, my advice is just to do all you can to determine the puppies’ personalities but, really, you can’t go wrong.

Merry Christmas!! Or Feliz Navidad?

It’s Bender’s first Christmas and he couldn’t be more excited. Actually I don’t think he knows how awesome 12/25 is going to be, but when he unwraps the giant comfy dog bed and HUGE rawhide I got him he’ll know what’s up. He certainly is very interested in the world’s largest dog toy/many-branched-stick that we brought inside, wrapped in lights and hung smaller chew toys from.

Anyway, I think this video will help boost his Christmas spirit. Leo, Bender’s BFF was not too happy to join the dance crew (you can see it in eyes, especially at 0:10 – so grumpy!) but he obliged because he loves Bender so. Gilly, Bender’s sister, makes her guitar debut and Uncle Captain and Grandma Bailey can be seen cutting a rug together as backup dancers. Happy Holidays!

Things to know about getting Puppy

I recently got an email from someone who had stumbled across this Bender blog. She had a few questions about getting a new puppy. I’m sure she had scoured the internet for answers but honestly the web is kind of a terrifying place when it comes to puppy questions. People get really really really opinionated and self righteous on the internet, with no room for discussion.

For example, we got Bender a dog door and now he goes outside whenever he wants. He has taken to sleeping on the couch in our (un-insulated) sunroom, even last week when it was less than 10 degrees outside.

Golden Retriever puppy, Bender, lying down in the snow

Excuse me? It’s too chilly? I’ll come down with a cold? These things mean nothing to me!

So I googled “how long will my dog be ok outside in really cold weather?” I found one slightly helpful article from a sled dog vet. And a slew of comments like this on Yahoo Answers (for the record, I heartily advise against ever going on Yahoo Answers, it’s a terrible terrible place):

“Livestock lives outside. Dogs and cats are called house pets for a reason: they live in the house. Tomorrow take him and your cats to a shelter so they can be adopted by someone who actually wants to take proper care of their pets.”

“If I was your neighbor, you’d already have animal control over at your house ticketing you. That’s how serious this is.”

“If it’s too cold for YOU to be out, it’s too cold for the dog.“

Similarly, I googled “Ways to keep my dog off the couch” here are some choice answers:

Golden retriever puppy, Bender, on the couch practically clinging to it

This couch is comfy, and I REFUSE to move

“Dogs mean more to me than the sofa. I also ditched fabric in favor of leather. Much easier.”

“My dog has free reign of the house. I wouldn’t have it any other way.”

“Why would you want to keep the dog off of the sofa? I enjoy my dog sitting next to me with her head on my lap.”

“If I didn’t want a dog on my furniture I wouldn’t own a dog.”

First off, I’m not LOCKING Bender outside in when it’s 2 degrees, he goes out there and plops down on the couch! I’m just wondering when I need to go out and scoop him up because he forgot he can come inside. And “just let him on your couch” is not good advice for “how to not let him on my couch.” Come on people.

Not to mention the fact that, on a daily basis, the internet likes to tell me I’ve poisoned, spoiled, harmed, or otherwise ruined Bender forever. “You fed him a whole almond?! He’ll be dead by morning!” “You gave him a dog door?! Too much independence, he will never love you!” “You let him outside by himself?! Say goodbye to at least one of his legs!!” People are bonkers.

Golden retriever, Bender, poking just his head through a dog door

Just checking in but I think I’ll stay outside this time.

I think in general everyone’s best bet is just talking to a trainer or a vet, and, like I said, staying far far away from Yahoo Answers. Anyway, the questions this reader had for me were as follows:

1. How did you choose your puppy?  I know the part about the lineage of the pup, but when you went to see the litter, what made you chose Bender?

2.What reading can we do to help prepare for bring our puppy home?

3.What supplies are absolutely necessary and what do you feel like you bought but did not need?

4.What kind of dog food do you use and why?

5.Best advice?  What would you have done differently?

So I sent her back essentially a novel talking about my answers to those questions, probably way more than she bargained for. But I thought they’d be good blog topics, so this is your heads up, I’m going to write out my answers and share them with you all in some upcoming blog posts. Stay tuned.

12/18/13 ADDENDUM: Check it out! The company we buy Bender’s food from, Eagle Pack, (their food is awesome!) just wrote a blog post on dog safety in the cold. It is full of lines like this: “A St. Bernard will be thrilled with the drop in temperature.” and “While many dogs will be prefer to be inside during the winter, the cold weather breeds (and some cats) will want to enjoy the snow more than you.” (Don’t worry, they also include lots of love for pups who might not be digging the snow so much.)

Dear Eagle Pack, thanks for not thinking I’m a terrible, heartless pet owner for letting Bender hang out in the snow. Sincerely Yours, Matty.

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